Parenting: the truth versus the polite lie

About the episode

What do we teach our children to tell the truth? New research shows once again that, in some cases, we are giving quite contradictory messages.

In this study, 267 American adults viewed videos of children ages 6 to 15 telling the truth or lying in various situations.

And there were diplomas. In some videos the children told the hard truth, in others the vague truth. In the case of lying, they did it in some scenarios to protect someone and in others not to offend someone.

After watching the videos, the adults had to rate the children on, among other things, usability, reliability and intelligence. It turned out that children who told the hard truth were judged much more harshly than children who lied or told the vague truth. But only if the lie was done out of politeness.

Well, this was a small study in one country and did not investigate the behavior of the group of adults in their own home situation, but it does show something about the complexity of socially desirable behavior. Where politeness seems to prevail over “you don’t have the right to lie”.

Read more: Children who bluntly tell the truth, instead of lying, are judged more harshly by adults.

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